whatever happened to manly men?...

Recently Cousin K and I attended a day long workshop on HTML. The instructor was a young man in his late 20s or early 30s, clearly straight, an expert on the subject, and obviously intelligent. (Okay, so it's difficult to get excited about code. Code is the new Latin, I say.) It's more difficult to be engaged when the leader speaks in a high-pitched voice, each sentence sounds like a question, stands hunched over with hands in pocket, dressed in plaid shirt and jeans. If only he were the exception--but all the men/boys (mentors or instructors to a large group of women) dressed, stood, and sounded just like him. In fact, it was the two women who organized the event who stood proudly and spoke clearly. They exuded more confidence than all these men put together. 

Is this the new generation? What happened to manly men? And by manly, I mean confident, assertive, proud, strong, stands up straight, and speaks in a deep voice. Seriously, is being 'manly' out of fashion? 

NO. Tell me this is NOT the new generation of men.

How does courtship work in this age of smartphones and social media anyway? Have the roles reversed, or are they shared? How would these young men ask these confident young women out on a date? Or are women doing the asking? I feel sorry for both genders. Am I so old that I think that both men and women should be confident, but men should do most of the asking? 

I remember, way back in the day, a guy would need to get a girl's phone number to ask her out. (Again, back in the day when you shared one phone land line with everyone in your household. Pre-historic times.) This guy, whom I barely knew or spoken to, just straight up handed me a pen and a piece of paper at the end of a party. In a crowded room, in front of a group our mutual friends.

He, clear voice, big smile: Write down your phone number.
She, surprised: What?! Why?
He: So I can call you tomorrow.
She, laughing, writing down number: Um, okay...
He, still smiling: That better be the right number.

THAT is how it's done! Strong and confident is refreshing in a room full of shy and dull. It didn't hurt that he was tall, dark and handsome. Two weeks later we were on a date. With my brother and sister in tow, but still. 

YES. Be a 'manly' man.

Lesson to Guys/Boys: Be smart. Don't be shy about what you want. Make your intentions clear. Take charge. Stand up straight. Deepen your voice. Oh, if at all possible, wear a suit. 

Be a man.